A Guide to Wedding Traditions in Germany

When researching wedding traditions in Germany, you might stumble upon tales of bride kidnappings and torn veils. And while yes, these traditions certainly have a history and are occasionally still in practise today, they are not commonly included by German couples on their wedding days anymore. That is not to say that traditions are dead. Instead, many have evolved and have been reshaped beautifully into new forms that couples today weave into their day.

As local wedding planners in Germany, we want to share the true German wedding customs that are loved and lived today by our couples - both local and international - and inspire you to give a nod to history for your destination wedding in Germany.

Before we dive into classically German customs, we would be amiss not to mention that over the last decades German couples have gotten to love international wedding traditions that are today shared between cultures. This is why you might see common threads when attending or celebrating a wedding, be it in the United States or in Germany.

A bride being walked down the aisle by her father or mother who symbolically gives her hand in marriage, the exchange of the rings, the bouquet toss, and the first dance of the new husband and wife - all these images might be familiar sights to you. These and many more customs have found their way into our wedding culture and have become a firmly embedded part of getting married in Germany.

But even despite this evolution, certain German twists on these customs have established themselves, and old customs that are special to Germany have not disappeared.

Just like the shared traditions, the classic wedding attire in Germany has been reshaped over the centuries to include international influences. In the old times a German bride would wear black on her wedding day (a custom that was shared by many European countries, just like the black dress wedding traditions of Spain), before Queen Victoria introduced white as the standard for a bride’s wedding dress.

Differing from the established custom in the United States, German couples traditionally only have one wedding ring, and skip the engagement ring all together. When getting engaged, the ring is worn on the left hand. During the ceremony, the ring is switched to the right hand when the couples exchanges their vows and is married.

Classic German wedding rings also tend to be more subtle in appearance, with many couples in the past choosing a simple golden band that matches their partner’s ring closely.

Once again, this tradition has evolved in the past decades. Today, many couples in Germany choose to follow the American custom of having both an engagement ring, as well as a wedding band. On which hand they wear it is also no longer universal, with many couples now choosing the left hand for practical reasons.

One of the few truly old traditions that has survived to this day, the Polterabend is still practised today in several regions of Germany. On the eve before the wedding day, the couple gathers all their guests for a party.

Accompanied by music, and plenty of food and drinks, the guests come together to joyfully smash ceramics and old porcelain. The noise scares away the evil spirits, and each shard brings good luck for the couple in their newly shared part of life.

The couple is responsible for cleaning up the shards after the celebration, representing their first challenge that they have to overcome by working together.

A small but heartfelt tradition, that takes place on the morning of the wedding, has been preserved to this day. Similar to other cultures, the couple is not supposed to see each other before their ceremony. Nevertheless, the groom finds a way to send a gift to his bride via a friend.

In the past, this was something of great value - perhaps a piece of fine jewellery or a family heirloom. Today, this gift is most often of a personal nature and accompanied by a letter.

The German bridal chalice is a finely made, delicate piece of craftsmanship that dates back to the 16th century. It is a specially crafted two-piece glass in the form of a woman holding a cup above her head, that allows the couple to drink from it simultaneously.

The bridal chalice is either included as a unity ritual into the wedding ceremony, or is a part of the dinner celebration. It is often passed down through the generations as a family heirloom.

A simple wedding tradition that carries timeless meaning. The lighting of a candle during the wedding ceremony has been a part of wedding ceremonies across cultures and across the centuries. Symbolizing the joining of two families into one, this tradition exists in many variants. Our wedding planner in Germany is happy to help you choose the one that feels like you if you’d like to include this ritual into your day.

The wedding candle is a beautifully decorated large candle, sometimes with one, other times with two wicks. It comes accompanied by two slim and long candles that are used to light the wedding candle in a ceremony of joining two flames into one. The candle is kept for years to come and it is lit on special occasions like the anniversary, or even after a fight to remember the commitment of unity and a shared life.

If you asked a German couple about customs at their wedding, many might not even think to mention the coffee & cake time, so deeply ingrained and normal is this tradition into the wedding culture here.

In the afternoon, after the vows have been spoken, almost all German weddings will prepare a dedicated table of cakes that are served with coffee and tea for the guests to enjoy. During this time, the couple often slips away to take some portraits.

This coffee & cake time is separate from the wedding cake. While the wedding cake is often elaborately made and cut at midnight, this afternoon table of cakes and pies have more of a homemade look and taste to them, and encourage the guests to mingle in a casual setting.

The tradition of the veil dance is an old one, and it has gone through transformations over the centuries. For the first dance of the newly married couple, the bride will remove her veil (although in actual practicality many couples use a dedicated additional veil that is larger for this) and hand it to her closed loved ones. These guests hold the veil above the couple while they dance underneath. This symbolizes the love of their community, and the protection and support they offer to the newlyweds.

In older variations, it would be unmarried women only holding the veil and attempting to tear of a piece. The largest torn piece would mean its owner would be getting married next. Today, we do not usually see this, with most couples choosing to forgo this part of the tradition.

More of a superstition rather than a tradition in its truest sense, we still want to mention this lovely saying at German weddings. Due to its climate, rain is a common guest at many weddings in Germany - and not always an unwelcome one!

“Wenn es regnet am Altar, bringt es Glück für viele Jahr” is the saying you might hear. “If it rains at the altar, it will bring luck for many years to come”.

Many reasons bring our international couples to Germany to celebrate their day: for some it is the setting where their love story once began, others simply fell in love with the landscapes of this country at the heart of Europe, while others again are tracing back family connections to Germany.

Regardless of the reason, we love seeing our couples infuse German culture into their celebration, giving their destination wedding a true sense of place.